this bites
You know, I like being right. However there are some things i just dont like being right about.
Take the post about the christmas/boxing day debarcle... I said something like "i think this will come back to bite us" and oop! yes... it has.
My pops woke me up at 7.10 this morning to tell me that mum had been in a right strop and had driven off somewhere in the car, and was just arriving home.
She is in a right mood.
This time its about my brother hassling her a lot. I wish he would know when to stop. He's 23 and still living at home, its not his place to mock mum. She does a lot for him and doesn't deserve to be treated rudely. Both my auntys have noticed this, and wonder why my dad hasn't said anything to him about it.. i dont know either.
One of the other things shes annoyed about is that i haven't done many jobs while i've been here. Apparently i'm expected to come home and do all the jobs. It's not my house anymore! If she came and stayed at Hermil I wouldn't expect her to do any jobs!
So my dad has to stay off work today and 'look after' mum.
i don't know how to deal with this. I don't know what to do. It just seems to me that she's acting so irrationally, and i can't cope with the irrational. (if thats even a word)
*sigh*
4 Comments:
I thinks that the problem in a lot of cases - the person on the other side of the fence usually seems irrational. So perhaps once you get through this you'll be be far better at coping with irrational people?
Thats probably a small comfort - but the good thing about irrationality is that the outcome is out of your control. So if she is acting in this manner, its not really your fault if it doesn't fix itself. So do what you can, help out, even though you don't have to, be nice as you can. But realize that when you're doing your best, and its not working, then it's not your fault. Turn the other cheek so to speak, but don't let it drag you down.
I don't think your parent's house ever becomes not your house anymore. When you go to stay with people who have spent 18 years (approx) clothing you, feeding you, etc etc, they probably have the right to expect that you do a few jobs...
It took me quite a while to get to the point where I actually realised this, until my parents told me how they felt about the way I was behaving when I went home. I still don't do as much as I should when I go home, but I am prepared to.
I guess another way to ask the same question is, are you paying them for the privilege of living there and eating all their food over the course of the holidays?
Not really sure how to finish this, so I'll just stop.
Im afraid im gonna agree with Luuk here. i think that your parents house (where you grew up) is always gonna be your home to a certain extent, and while your mum shouldnt probably get THAT annoyed, maybe if asked by your dad or mum or something you might have a little bit of chores to do.
Probably the dealy with your Bro exacerbated (i love that word) her mood and made her more likely to snap at you about the work?
Hope things at home get better!
He he - Luke i usually live at home during the year and skive off over the holidays *grin*
I do know that i should be grateful for everything my parents have done for me over the last 20 years, i guess it can still be hard to get your head around this and use it in a practical way though.
The thing i find hard is that when i go home (usually for 2 or 3 days every 3 weeks) i am expected to do jobs like the vacuuming, dusting, washing curtains etc. I dont mind doing things like cooking tea, washing dishes, cleaning the shower - things i actually use- but it seems a little unfair to do jobs where I am the only person who has to do them.
Anyway, all good and fair points... Next time i go home i will make it overtly clear about offering to do jobs rather than waiting to be told.
Thanks for your comments guys :)
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