ode to the small box

Yay! one test down, one to go! One assignment down, one to go, and one essay left. Yup. Its all downhill from here.... (not really, but if i tell myself that, i will believe it)
My test was an absolute shocker... its basically an exam, except that the lecturer has to go back home to Germany in about a weeks time, so he wont be here for "real" exams. It was horrible. Even if i HAD done the COMPULSORY readings i dont think i could actually have answered any of the questions properly. It was 90 minutes and worth about 30% of our mark... I wrote 4 sides. Yup. Don't see how that could get me 30% of my final grade... AAAAAAAAAAanyway.... lets not think about scary stuff like that! I am feeling very drained though...
Next i have a test on Wednesday, and essay due at the end of the week, and a journal due in 2 fridays. Should all be relatively sweet. (har)

So.... wanna hear something really funny? After my post about wanting to live in a box, i went to ABC last night, and they're having a slumberover (or something) where people sponsor you to sleep in a box, to raise money for the church. When this idea was suggested i saw a couple of heads turn around and grin at me... Yup. I'd do it for free... In fact, i'd do it voluntarily!!

I suppose i should elaborate on what i was talking about the other day when i suggested that i'd like to live in a box....
Well basically i was feeling like i didn't fit anywhere... like, as Reuben once posted, i am a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I felt like i didn't fit in to my cell group, my church, my youth group, at university, my job, with my friends, anywhere really...
And *obviously*, the best solution is to move into a cardboard box. I guess the motives behind this was that i could sulk in peace, plus spend lots of time with God, and even have a little visitors hatch in case people wanted to talk to me. I've kinda forgotten half the reason exactly why i wanted to live in the box, and at Hermil too (i guess because if i did it in Rangiora no one would know i was doing it)...
But just to really put myself out there, i will be totally honest and say that i was feeling insecure about relationships developing around me, and friends leaving... and mainly i was feeling very discouraged about trying so hard to affect youth group kids and seeming to have no effect whatsoever...
Basically i was feeling rather useless and defunct, and not knowing what, if any, actual talent i had, and where i should be using it. And so i guess i figured that living in a box was the best way to not impose upon the world and lie around and lament (sulk) for a while.

I'll do it one day... maybe not to sulk, but just for the fun of it... i loved making houses out of huge boxes when i was a kid!!
Anyway, i think i need a free coffee... so i shall be off...