What a BA student does in her spare time
Finally! After much deliberation and discussion the verdict is out...
This post will look at what girls find hot in guys, and what girls and guys can do for each other to make the other sex feel valued.
I want to make it clear that this is MY thoughts, and i have talked this over with Ray, Ruth, and Mel, and we came up with some things we agree on. Some of these things are general things that people can do for each other, but we looked at specifically what guys can do for girls, and tried to guess at what guys wanted girls to do for them.
How girls can make guys feel valued:
-Listening to them
-Giving them time to actually answer a question, or to talk
-Ask questions about their life, and whats going on
-Remembering the things that they tell you (its all about detail)
-Giving them compliments
-Occasionally offering them a hug
-Nurturing them
Basically doing the things that other guys don't always do like caring and listening
How guys can make girls feel valued:
-Watching out for them
-Walking them to their cars or homes when its dark
-Helping them to feel safe
-Occasionally offering them a hug
-Protecting them
Basically being the strong influence and guide that other girls aren't
And for the piece de resistance:
What (some) girls find hot in guys
-Driving that makes you feel like precious cargo. If you don't feel safe then it can make a girl feel like the guy doesn't care enough for her safety and comfort.
-Passion for God. Often the most attractive thing about a man is his desire to know more about the Lord and serve him.
-A guy who is caring and affectionate.
-Guys that love kids
-Chivalrous - opening doors, letting girls go first. Most girls aren't the stupid feminists that hate that sort of thing. Many of us are flattered!
-When guys take care of themselves (eg washed, hair done, clean clothes)
-No facial hair!!! (Although stubble is acceptable)
-Nice smelling. Boys that smell nice are the cream of the crop. Key word: 'nice'
-Most girls couldn't care less about what type of car a guy has. Really!!
-The words guys say have a large effect. If guys compliment a girl (honestly) then that means a lot. If a guy is thankful for something, then say it! However it can work the opposite way, and if guys say careless things, it can cut a girl deeply. Sometimes its better to keep things to yourself, or pick a better time to say them.
That'll do for now. I only have so many free hours in a week.
4 Comments:
I'm not exactly what I inputted into that, but anyway...
The things you mentioned that girls can do to make guys feel valued seem to be pretty gender non-specific. I'm not sure, but surely girls like that too? From my feedback where I've done what you suggested on this list (but to girls), girls like it too. So, I suspect it's universal.
Didn't you just have 2 other posts up?? One of them looked suspiciously ling-orientated... hmm.. he he he this is an interesting post to say the least :)
yeah, i did. I deleted them cos they were in the way. DELETED! DELETED!!
heh heh...
sorry! My rude flatmates wrote them when i was signed in to blogger but away from the computer.
Well Nathan, yes those things are universal, but i think there are specific things that guys and girls can do for each other.
hehe - Perhaps I should throw my two cents in..
Ways that Girls can make Guys feel valued
1a - Express genuine interest in things that he is interested in.
1b - If you AREN'T interested in some things that he is, don't pretend you are. It comes off as slightly patronising, as well as give him a false impression of who you are. If you say you like doing something, mean it, cos if he organises for you two to go out and do said activity together, you only have yourself to blame.
2 - Allow the guy to relax and be himself when he is hanging around with you.
3 - Don't be destructively critical of him. Constructive criticism is good, destructive is bad. We may seem tough and macho on the outside, but sometimes words can really cut deep.
4 - If you have issues with something that he does, be prepared to give a reason - guys tend to like reasons for things.
5 - Have a sense of humour.
6 - Guys are pretty gross really. (I don't know what you see in us). If he does something gross like fart or belch in public, he is not trying to disgust you. In fact, be honoured, as it shows that he considers you 'one of the guys', which shows you mean more to him (usually) than if he were fastidiously trying to be polite. (see #2)
This list is by no means exhaustive, but if you take note of them, you will earn a special place in almost any guy's heart.
:)
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