and so the cycle repeats itself.... over and over and over....

Help *desperate call can be heard in the distance* heeeelp...
I hate this feeling. Its one of extreme inadequacy and uselessness and disappointment. Why didn't i get on to this Ling assignment earlier? Or read the question sheet properly. If i had done that, i would have understood it all and not have to re-do the little work i have actually done! Actually i haven't done 'little' work, i've done quite a bit compared to usual. The tutor admitted today that its a LOT of work, and that she (the expert) had underestimated how much time it would take us (the minions) to do it.
I think i'll have a blogger cry. *waaaah can be heard from afar*
I've been wanting to cry all day, yet havent found the right opportunity! I nearly cried in class this morning when i realised i still had a lot more work to go, that i didnt really understand the assignment at all, that i wouldnt be in anywhere near as much strife if i'd read the question sheet properly, and that all the work i'd done was basically wrong. I also got very close to crying when the lovely Asian guy in class asked, "so how your project go?"

*grins* All the boys reading this may not want to read this next paragraph, so tune out now...
I was wearing matching pink underwear today (yay!) and had thought, when getting ready this morning, "today's gonna be an awesome day; i smell nice, i have matching underwear, and its not too cold!" Screw that for a joke. At times the only thing that was carrying me through was chanting to myself, "im wearing matching pink underwear and God still loves me". Sad really.

(Boys can start reading again :P )
I feel like absolute crap, cos theres no way that i can do the ling assignment, all 10+ pages that are necessary, AND write this French essay both by their due dates (the essay monday and the ling, tuesday). Maybe i will have to resort to my last-term strategy of missing all classes? I dont like that strategy but maybe i will have to do it.
The really annoying thing is that all the horrible self-talk is coming back. The "you're useless and stupid and you cant do anything right, and you're not smart enough for uni and you never were, and you're going to fail and be left with nothing..." etc...
Argh!! just so you all know, i dont want your sympathy. I dont want your comments saying "its okay, we love you" cos i know that. its just hard believing it, or letting it affect my stupid state of mind at the moment.

I really hate feeling like this. Somethings gotta change!!