i'm scared....

I'm scared. I feel like Adrian Plass when he went through his 'i dont want to die' phase! For me personally, i'm not afraid of dying, i believe firmly in the risen Lord. But for my Bill. He has cancer, and it keeps going away, then coming back again. He also believes in the hope we have for eternal life... but i don't want him to go!
His daughter, Julie, is about 5 years older than me, and she used to take my cell group, at the family house where she flatted with two friends. Bill and his wife were in MMM, an organisation where you live in caravans and travel to different churches helping with maintenance, etc. When they were home between missions he would harass me about my driving, as i would get to drive to or from cell group with the 'L' plates up. He always joked about being scared of the letterbox or curb getting taken out! When i got my restricted licence he nicknamed me 'crash'.... (i have never even come close to crashing! i am the world's best driver!) (just like everyone else)
When his daughter got married last year i helped clean the hall afterwards, and took him outside to show him my new car... He was a bit teary at the loss of his daughter to another man *wink* and he said "what will i do!! I'll have to look after YOU now" (or something to that effect) and he gave me a hug. (argh! pull yourself together, Walker... tears are for the weak!)
Recently we had a prayer vigil for him, with people signing up to pray around the clock for his healing. His cancer got better and he and his wife headed away again on a mission. Within a week he had to come back to Christchurch to the hospital.
This morning in church, 2 people were praying for him up the front, and as i looked up, between songs, more and more people drifted up to join in praying, until about 10 people surrounded him. And it hit me.

I don't want him to die. I adore him. I have so much love for him... i care so much, but do we ever tell people that?
I think we should start. Who cares if we feel like a twaddle for giving someone a wee note saying we're thinking about them, or leave a gift in their letterbox?
What the world needs more of is people showing love for one another. Showing kindness and care and thoughtfulness.
I think i'm gonna write my Bill a letter and tell him that he makes a great honorary uncle, and that i love him =) that he IS appreciated.

But i'm still scared. What will i do without him....