doubts

its interesting how the mind works... (eh Nathan?!) how one minute you're so psyched up about something, then the next minute upset about it....
The other day i was so passionate about my dream, and so convinced that it would come to pass. Last night i was so worried, because i could see it slipping through my fingers.
i worked out that i spend between $35 and $40 on petrol in a week.. A WEEK!! and then i got kind of sad cos i had only $15 left in my bank account and i had to pay $30 car insurance, and $20 on a layby (the good part is that i got paid today, so i have enough, and my mum gave me petrol vouchers and i didnt even tell her i was worried about money)
but i realised that it takes money to go overseas... and i've wanted for so long to go on my OE the year after i finish uni.... but with what? you can't pay a plane ticket with knowledge...
Its been my dream since i was about 16... to go to France, firstly... and be in Gallipoli for ANZAC day, and go to WW1/2 historic sites in germany/france, to be in germany for the world cup 2006... but i cant get there without money!!
And the other thing that i was really worried about was that im having trouble with my uni work... i know exams are coming up too... and im not very good with exams! I can have studied for days and just have total mind blank when i sit down with the exam in front of me! So my mind was going all weird cos it was worried that i wont pass my courses, then i wont have a degree... and maybe, even if i do get my BA, maybe i wont be able to get a job anyway. Maybe its not even worth me being at uni at all.... maybe i'd be better off not aiming so high?

I mean, i know God has a good future in store for me, hes got a great destiny and purpose for me, but im still worried that i'm not doing it right, or that i've got it all round the wrong way, or that i thought id figured it all out and maybe i havent really at all.